Saturday, August 8, 2009

Job Didn't Get the Job

Job has done such a fine job of explaining how God could improve upon his job that God just has a simple questionnaire (Job 38-39) for Job to ace before god status is conferred upon him.

Here's a rundown of the topics where Job needs to demonstrate proficiency.


  1. Foundations of the earth -- Who measured them? How were they constructed?

  2. Placement and containment of the seas -- Any experience?

  3. Lighting of the world -- Have you regulated that before?

  4. Ocean depths -- When was the last time you were there? Have you ever been there?

  5. Gates of death -- Have you seen them?

  6. Size of the earth -- What is it?

  7. Location of light and darkness -- What are their respective addresses?

  8. Warehouses of storm components (snow, hail, lightning, winds) -- Have you been in these before? Do you even know the way to them?

  9. Flood rains -- How do those make it to the desert to water it?

  10. Rain, dew, ice -- How are those all formed? You surely don't think they just "happen," do you?

  11. Constellations -- What experience do you have in moving those through the heavens? Do you even know how to do it?

  12. Storms (again) -- Do the clouds and the lightning bolts respect your authority and obey your orders? What is your proficiency in assessing storm need? Assuming that storm components do cooperate with your instructions, do your orchestrated storms do the job?

  13. Food service -- What's your track record in providing for the animals; say, for the lions and the ravens?

  14. Animal reproduction (We'll just focus on the goats and the deer right now) -- Explain all you know about the pregnancy, labor, and delivery of each. Which ones are pregnant right now, and how far along are each?

  15. Animal kingdom -- The independence of the wild donkey and the wild ox, the stupidity and speed of the female ostrich, the strength and laugh-in-the-face-of-death courage of the horse, the flight capabilities and hunting prowess of the hawk and the eagle: Explain each of these in detail; how they came about and why the animals differ so much from one another.
1 The LORD said to Job:
2 "Will the one who contends with the Almighty correct him?
Let him who accuses God answer him!"
3 Then Job answered the LORD :
4 "I am unworthy—how can I reply to you?
I put my hand over my mouth.
5 I spoke once, but I have no answer—
twice, but I will say no more."
--Job 40:1-5 (NIV)

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