Friday, April 16, 2010

Opposites Attract

After 18 1/2 years of marriage, Sara and I are still learning about each other.

It was interesting to study personality types a few months ago and categorize Sara and myself accordingly. My two strongest personality characteristics were her two weakest and vice versa.

What a blessing that is! We compensate for one another. (It's much the way Pat and I work well together, too, I think. We are opposite personality types.) As Rocky put it to Paulie when he was talking about his interest in Paulie's sister Adrian, "I dunno, she's got gaps, I got gaps, together we fill gaps." Sara and I, together we fill gaps.

Sara's the ambitious one. She's the risk-taker. I'm the status quo one, the cautious one. I consider myself a plodder. There are strengths and weaknesses to ambition and risk-taking, and there are strengths and weaknesses to caution and plodding.

Those are all coming out as we discuss the possibility of moving. The very fact that we are talking about moving is because Sara has brought it up. That's practically a given. All the significant changes in our life--good changes--for the most part have been at her instigation, not mine. The move to our current house, our first adoption, our second adoption.

Right now our personalities are exposed, and we're learning stuff about each other and about ourselves.

Lest you think I'm airing dirty laundry, or that I'm trying to enlist your support for me over against her, I'm not. Our discussions have been in the context of love. She thinks she's found her dream house, but she's concerned that it might be my nightmare. I'm concerned about the financial investment and the sweat investment, but I want to fulfill her dreams. She thinks of all the possibilities; I, too, think of all the possibilities. But the possibilities we both think about are not the same type of possibilities. She's an optimist. I'm a pessimist (though I prefer the term "realist"). She's an exclamation point. I'm a question mark.

I have no idea how this will all play out. But the adventure's fun; stressful at times, but still fun. I told her recently that I have thoroughly enjoyed the adventure of my life the last 18+ years, and I can't imagine traveling it with anyone else.

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