Friday, September 3, 2010

9 Reasons I'm Glad I'm Not Living in a Star Wars Universe

1. Luke Skywalker as a whiny young man and Anakin Skywalker as a whiny young man annoy the snot out of me.

2. I would be against electing Senator Palpatine emperor from the beginning, but I would be in the minority, everyone thinking him to be the savior we all need, not recognizing the totalitarian brand of socialism he would foist upon us.

3. I think I would find Darth Vader’s heavy breathing distracting.

4. I’m afraid I would laugh unceremoniously at Queen Amidala’s hairdo, thus jeopardizing diplomacy.

5. The fact that Anakin didn’t have a biological father would mess with my theology.

6. At some point in Imperial politics, a Gungan could be just a heartbeat away from the emperorship.

7. I’m allergic to Wookie dander.

8. X-Wing Fighter emissions rip holes in the ozone layer.

9. Because Yoda sounds so much like Fozzie Bear, I’d be forever waiting for “Wocka, wocka, wocka” and a punch line.

1 comment:

j.scantlin said...

Amidala’s hairdo? I bet you'd also ask, "Princess Leia, what is it that you're listening to?"