Thursday, April 28, 2011

How to Grow a Church

Being somewhat observant of the American church scene, I think I now have some good formulae for growing a church.  Let me float some past you and see what you think.

--Preach about your congregation more than about Christ.  People are more attracted to self-help messages than messages about the sufficiency of Christ.

--Have a great band that can perform lead worship well.  If you don't have drums, how do you expect your church to grow?

--Structure your services to satisfy the preferences of those people who don't come to your church, not the ones who do.  After all, they already come.

--When structuring your services, keep the preferences of people uppermost in your mind, not the preferences of God.  He'll understand.

--Question the clear doctrines of Scripture.  If possible, publish books on the subject and get interviewed on national TV.

--Avoid any terminology that visitors might not understand.  If you try to teach theological terminology and the concepts behind them, you highlight the ignorance of the visitors and make them feel bad.  Instead, stick to monosyllabic words and movie references.  Visitors don't come to learn and heal; they come to veg.

--Become more like the world in a variety of ways.  You don't want visitors to your church to get the impression that they would have to change much to become like you.

What do you think?  Should I write a book?

1 comment:

michelle said...

book...yes, but when you write, use "monosyllabic words." I thought that was great.